One morning, you wake to a text from your girlfriend.
“Shit! My house is on fire!”
You’ve also got a voicemail from your mom.
“Honey, the house is on fire.”
Three more texts come in from your friends Krystal, Jeannette, and Ada. Their houses are all on fire too.
You log onto Facebook, Twitter, Snapface, etc. Every woman you know, it seems, is reporting that their house is on fire. It even starts a trending hashtag: #metoo
How should you respond?
Appropriate: That’s terrible! How can I help?
Inappropriate: Well, I didn’t start the fire! Don’t blame me!
Appropriate: I’m on my way with water and a fire extinguisher*
*if you actually are
Inappropriate: I’m on my way with water and a fire extinguisher*
*when you’re not
Appropriate: I called 911 and the fire department is on its way
Inappropriate: I once saw a building on fire but it was a school. Are you sure houses are capable of burning?
Appropriate: I’m so sorry. What can I do?
Inappropriate: If your house wasn’t built out of wood, it wouldn’t be burning. You made shitty construction decisions.
Appropriate: I’m hearing that lots of other houses are on fire, there must be a cause. Do you know what it might be? Let’s stop it
Inappropriate: Women’s houses burning is like slavery* all over again
*we don’t have to equate injustices to find them deplorable
Appropriate: I am on the lookout for arsonists and if any work for me, I am firing them; if I was friends with any, I’m not anymore; if I see someone lighting a house on fire, I’ll try to stop them
Inappropriate: I don’t believe you
Appropriate: I realize I left some highly flammable and dangerous things at your house. I’m so sorry for whatever part my actions and choices played in the fire and I will help make it right in any way I can
Inappropriate: That sucks… now that you don’t have a house anymore, can you come clean my house?
Appropriate: I’m here for you. Let me know how I can help
Inappropriate: Only women’s houses are burning down, clearly women shouldn’t own houses
If you’re not an arsonist, don’t be an apologist for them.
