We’re all familiar with those social media posts… may even be guilty ourselves:
“I’m quitting Twitter. This is goodbye!”
“I won’t be on Facebook for the next month; text me if you need me.”
“I’m doing a digital detox; send pigeons.”
Some last the term of their self-imposed exile, others pop back up quickly — either way, the return is often with a vengeance. No judgment implied: many people get exactly what they need from a short social media break or digital detox. And let me be clear: I’m no hater. Social media, smartphones, and technology as a whole are tools, and it’s all about balance, for each individual’s needs and desires.
That said, many of us have found ourselves uncomfortably out of balance with our technology use. Over the past two years, I’ve tested a number of tactics to reharmonize my relationship with technology. And while I’m still working on that project, I’ve made progress. Ready for a change? Try these 10 steps for a lasting digital detox.
- Turn off notifications and badges. I cannot stress this enough. I started with the ‘lite’ version, turning off notifications and badges except for calls, texts, emails, and Slack. I did this on both my phone and my computer. My ability to focus and peace of mind improved so much that I also turned off badges and notifications for email and notifications for texts. The main times my phone actively alerts me now is when someone calls me or an alarm goes off. NEVER underestimate how sneaky those little red numerical badges are — just begging you to click and find out what’s new. What’s new, ninety-nine percent of the time, is of negligible importance, and certainly not urgent. Turn it off!
- Track your time. Get a sense of where your time is going. You have to know where you’re at before you can decide where you want to go. Moment is a free iPhone app that’s great for breaking down your phone time, and Apple recently added Screen Time to iOS 12. You can also get a high-level sense by going to your Settings > Battery and looking at your battery usage by app. Toggl is a free time-tracking software with a plugin that lets you track by app or site, and RescueTime is another popular time management software.
- Delete social media apps from your phone. Facebook and Google are already spying on you plenty. Why help them out? There’s little reason to have Twitter or Facebook on your phone, since both work from a computer browser, and you can have Messenger separately if you really need it to communicate. (Plus, in a real pinch you can log in via your phone’s web browser.) Instagram is harder given that there’s no browser interface (boo). If you can’t delete the apps, try moving the apps to a remote page on your phone or putting them into a folder.
- Parental-control yourself. You can use the built-in parental controls on an iPhone, or an app like SelfControl or Cold Turkey to block yourself from time-sucking websites, apps, and more (hey reddit!). You can find tools that will block you 100% of the time or limit your use of those apps/websites to a set amount of time per day or certain times per day.
- Decide how you’d rather be spending your time. You can make it as hard as you want to get into Instagram or fall down the rabbit hole of your favorite site, but if you don’t replace your existing habits with something new, you’ll likely relapse. I recommend approaching this question from two angles. First, high level: if you had an extra hour or two a day, what would you like to do? Exercise? Cook a more elaborate dinner? Watch a movie? Decide, and start doing it. Second, low level: there will be times when you’re standing in line (or sitting on the toilet, eh?) when you reflexively reach for your phone. What do you want to do with that time? Read a Kindle book? Solve a brain teaser? Complete a few chess puzzles? Pick something reasonably fun but more useful, and make it as easy to get to as you’ve made the other things difficult.
- Sunset your devices. Blue light signals “morning” and “alertness” to our brains; orange light signals “evening” and “sleep”. Given that our screens are quite blue-tinted, that can present a problem. However, many devices now come with built-in options to tint your screen more orange toward evening. Turn that shit on! Some, like the plug-in f.lux, tint your screen increasingly more orange as night falls, until eventually everything looks so terrible you don’t want to be on your computer anymore anyway.
- Leave your phone at home. Yeah, I know it’s crazy talk. But fuck it, what’s the worst that can happen? If there’s an emergency, everyone around you is bound to have a phone. (#famouslastwords) Judiciously choose times and places to leave your phone behind.
- Find time to be bored. Cultivate time where you don’t do anything. Where you aren’t on a device, you don’t have anywhere to be, you’re not listening to a podcast, you’re not trying to be productive or to improve yourself or to distract yourself. What’s your mind doing? What are you saying to yourself in those moments? Who are you? (#existentialcrisis)
- Go somewhere without reception. Sit on a remote beach. Go on a hike with friends. Explore the ruins of an underground city that might be Atlantis or the gate-city to Cthulhu’s realm. Whatever, just get offline.
- Consider your values. What are your highest values? What is most important to you in your life? How can you put these things more front and center? How can you live more in keeping with your truest, best self? Don’t beat yourself up if you think you’re failing to live up to your standards. You’re doing your best. You’re evolving. It’s an iterative process. We’re all learning. Instead, think with gratitude about how far you’ve come, how many steps you’ve already made, and how much possibility lies in front of you. Wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever challenges in front of you, the future is still open to being shaped. And it starts with you, shaping you.
